


let's take it slow (and grow as we go)

by afire, sataninacape



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Human AU, alternating povs, but also hope n pen are best friends and you can't stop me!, josie🤝penelope🤝being dumb teens, lizzie n pen are best friends n i will die on this hill, sid n i writing this fic like what's going on we don't know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-03-09 12:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18916636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afire/pseuds/afire, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sataninacape/pseuds/sataninacape
Summary: Feelings have always been complicated, everyone knows that. Penelope breaks up with Josie for reasons even she doesn't fully understand, but they are both only seventeen, and girls like them need time to make sense of themselves before they can start making sense of someone else. Life is scary, and confusing, and sometimes two people need to drift apart before they can fall back together, but things that are meant to be will always work out in the end.(or: the one where josie and penelope are 'big dumb' solidarity)





	1. that was the time to say goodbye

On the last day of summer, Penelope breaks her own heart, tells herself it's for everyone's own good, and doesn't check her phone until she's in school the next morning.  
  
She swipes past all her unread messages, the fifteen voicemails, and the notification about her archived Instagram posts, then wills herself not to cry because she is not that girl.  
  
This is, after all, entirely her fault. Penelope doesn't think she should get to feel bad about a situation she's created. She really doesn't have the right.  
  
Her ruminations are interrupted when someone grabs at her elbow and pulls her into an empty classroom, shutting the door behind them.  
  
Penelope looks up to see Lizzie Saltzman, arms crossed, expression a mix of rage and confusion.  
  
"What are you playing at?"  
  
"Lizzie-"  
  
"No, really. What do you think you're doing? Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kick your ass right now."  
  
"I don't have one," Penelope says, shrugging in defeat. "I'm really sorry, Lizzie. I didn't think it would hurt her that much."  
  
"What?" Lizzie's voice is loud and sharp, and Penelope winces at the angry disbelief. "You didn't think it would hurt- she hasn't stopped crying! I have no idea what to say to her because you didn't tell me anything! And from what I've heard, she's entirely in the dark, too."  
  
Penelope tries very hard not to cave, to eat her words and apologise a million times and beg Josie to take her back. Because that wouldn't fix them, and all the hurt from last night would've been for nothing.  
  
"I'm sorry," she says again, unable to find any other words.  
  
Something in her expression must have changed, because Lizzie's angry frown dissolves into something softer.  
  
"You know you can talk to me, right? If something's wrong. I'm here for you."  
  
And Penelope suddenly remembers that before she was Josie's anything, she'd been Lizzie's best friend.  
  
Now that's just another thing she's going to have to lose.  
  
"I'm really sorry, Lizzie. Tell her for me, please? That I'm sorry, and I understand if she wants space."  
  
"Pen-"  
  
"And I know that you need to be there for her," Penelope continues, "more than you need to be here for me."  
  
Something in Lizzie's gaze shifts, as if she's just come to a sudden realization, but when she opens her mouth all she says is, "I hope you know what you're doing."  
  
Then she leaves, and for the second time in as many days Penelope doesn't say goodbye.

  
  
**♡**

  
  
Penelope's so preoccupied with trying to minimise her level of human interactions, because she's just not in the mood to get involved in high school gossip today, that she almost walks right into someone at the threshold of the cafeteria.  
  
It's neither of the twins, which is a relief, and she's ready to mutter an apology and move on before a hand on her arm stops her.  
  
"Hey, slow down."  
  
The level command comes as such a surprise that Penelope obeys it, glancing up to find Hope Mikaelson peering concernedly at her.  
  
"Oh, hey. Sorry about that."  
  
"It's fine." Hope drops her arm, but stays close. "Are you okay?"  
  
And maybe it's the genuine worry in her voice, or the fact that Penelope's just about reached the limits of her compartmentalization, but the answer that tumbles out of her mouth is not one that she would normally have given.  
  
"No, not really."  
  
For a moment, neither of them move, then Hope hooks an arm around Penelope's elbow and starts leading them away from the cafeteria.  
  
"Where are we going?" Penelope asks, even though she doesn’t resist, allowing Hope to take her through the halls and out of the building.  
  
Hope doesn't reply until they're out on the field, taking a seat on the first row of metal bleachers. "A bit of sunshine will help clear your head," she says, "and I'll be here if you want to talk about it."  
  
As the silence washes over them, broken only intermittently by quiet birdsong, Penelope realizes that the sunshine isn't the only reason Hope had brought her out here.  
  
Lunchtime means that most other students are either in the cafeteria, or serving a detention, so the outdoors are relatively quiet. Without the incessant chatter that's almost always present in the hallways and classrooms, Penelope can finally hear herself think.  
  
She's never been one to be afraid of being alone with her thoughts, mostly because she's very rarely alone. Penelope's been friends with Lizzie for a very long time, and Lizzie isn't exactly known for being quiet.  
  
Then Josie had come along, and if Penelope hadn't been with one twin, than she would be with the other. So she's never really learned how to be alone, how to be comfortable with her own company.  
  
It's never really mattered before, and even now, she's not too bothered by it. Penelope thinks she can handle being by herself, but that's never been the problem. The problem is that it hasn't even been a day and she misses Josie like nothing else.  
  
Sometimes, she'll turn around to make a comment, or ask a question, and it'll sink in all over again, that Josie isn't there anymore, and that it's her own fault.  
  
It had been the right choice, but sometimes the right choices are also the most painful, and knowing that it had to be done doesn't make it hurt any less.  
  
Past all of that, there's also the fact that Penelope has lost Lizzie too.  
  
She'd been prepared to, because Lizzie would move heaven and earth for her sister, and Penelope has always known that, but being prepared for heartache doesn't stop the heart from aching.  
  
Penelope gets shaken out of her thoughts when someone taps lightly on her arm. She looks up to see Hope smiling gently at her.  
  
"Feeling better?"  
  
In all honesty, Penelope had forgotten that she isn't alone, and it takes a second for her to respond.  
  
"Not really," she says, "but thank you for bringing me out here."  
  
Hope nods, as if to say she understands. "It's time to go back in for class, but we can sit out here anytime you want."  
  
The sincerity in her tone isn't being faked, which is surprising considering they've never really spoken at length before today, and Penelope can't stop herself from asking, "Why are you being so nice to me?"  
  
"You looked like you needed it," Hope says honestly. "I know we're not really friends, but I'll be here if you want to talk." She pauses, then laughs lightly. "It's not like I've got anyone to spill your secrets to anyway."  
  
Penelope stays silent for a moment, then stands and extends a hand to help Hope up. "You're wrong about the second thing," she says.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Us not being friends," Penelope explains as she steps off the bleachers and back onto the field. "You helped me out today. As far as I'm concerned, we're friends now."  
  
Hope's answering grin stretches wide across her face. "Sure," she says. "That's good."  
  
Penelope smiles back at her, and it's the first genuine moment of joy she's had since the previous afternoon.  
  
"Let's get to class."  
  
"Okay."

  
**♡**

  
  
Penelope steps out of last period Literature and almost slams into Lizzie, who had apparently been waiting for her outside the classroom.  
  
She blinks in surprise, mouth open around a question that doesn't get asked when Lizzie pushes her back into the classroom and kicks the door shut.  
  
School's out for the day, which means the halls are dead silent, and Penelope can hear the sound of traffic outside as kids start to head home. She sits down on one of the desks, watching as Lizzie gathers her thoughts.  
  
There are a thousand things that have gone unsaid between them, and a thousand more that probably have to be said, before either of them find any closure on the situation, if that is at all possible.  
  
Still, Penelope knows that Lizzie likes getting the first word, so she waits patiently, trying not to think about where Josie is right now.  
  
"I'm still mad at you."  
  
Well, she supposes she deserves as much.  
  
"I'm mad at you," Lizzie says again, before sighing and letting her shoulders drop, "but you're my best friend." She takes a step forward, reaching out for Penelope but stopping halfway and letting her hand fall back to her side instead. "And you're hurting too."  
  
"It's nothing-"  
  
"Don't lie to me."  
  
Penelope falls silent, gaze dropping to the floor as Lizzie takes another step closer.  
  
"Don't you lie to me, Penelope. You've never done that before, don't start now."  
  
The silence stretches to its breaking point, then Penelope looks up and tries for a smile. "I'm sorry." She shrugs loosely, because this is all she has to give right now. "I really am."  
  
Lizzie sighs, crosses the room and pulls Penelope into a hug. "I know," she says, squeezing tighter for a moment before pulling back. "And I'm still mad at you, but I understand."  
  
"You do?" Penelope asks, because she doesn't even know if she understands.  
  
"More or less." Lizzie steps back, smiling in that all-knowing way. "You've got stuff to sort out, and so does Josie. Sometimes people find each other at the wrong time."  
  
Penelope frowns, still confused, and honestly the vocalisation of Josie's name has left her a little lightheaded. "What do you mean?"  
  
"It doesn't matter right now." Lizzie takes a few more steps back, reaches behind her to open the classroom door. "Take care of yourself, Penelope. I'll be here if you need me."  
  
"Make sure she's okay?" Penelope calls, wincing at the desperation in her own voice.  
  
Lizzie doesn't mention it, just nods, like she knows everything Penelope still doesn't have the courage to say. "Of course." She waves once, lips curling into a slight smile. "See you around."  
  
Then she's gone, footsteps echoing down the hallway until all that's left is a ringing silence.  
  
Penelope waits a moment before following, making sure to shut the classroom door behind her. She's still not quite sure what their conversation had been about, but what she does know is that Lizzie Saltzman is still in her corner, and right now that's more than she could have ever hoped for.

  
  
**♡**

  
  
Her phone rings the moment she steps into her room, and Penelope picks up without checking to see who it is.  
  
She only realizes that this could've been a mistake after she says hello, but by then it's too late to take it back.  
  
Fortunately, the voice on the other end of the line doesn't immediately start yelling at her for being a prick, and Penelope breathes a quiet sigh of relief when she hears her brother instead.  
  
"Hey, loser!"  
  
It's possible that she's celebrated too soon.  
  
"What do you want, Percy?"  
  
"What? Can't I call to ask how your first day of school was?"  
  
"No."  
  
"You're right, I need a favour."  
  
Penelope rolls her eyes even though he can't see her right now, moves to collapse on her bed and lets him stew for a minute before replying.  
  
"Okay, what is it?"  
  
"I left a box of stuff in my room, can you mail it over? I'll transfer you the delivery fee."  
  
"Delivery fee plus ten dollars," Penelope says immediately.  
  
"What? No!"  
  
"Fifteen dollars."  
  
Penelope hears the sound of shuffling, then a muffled scream, and then Percy is back and sighing very deeply into his phone.  
  
"Fine, delivery fee plus fifteen dollars."  
  
"Great doing business with you, I'll post it before school tomorrow."  
  
Percy huffs something incomprehensible, then says, “Okay, since I’m here, how was school?”  
  
"Fine," Penelope says instinctively, before remembering that she's talking to her brother and he can always tell when she's lying. "I mean, it went as well as it could have, considering everything."  
  
"Hm, okay. How's that girl of yours?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
There is a fraction of a second before that sentence lands, a brief moment of pause, where Penelope doesn't recognise the gravity of her own words, but then she sucks in a sharp breath, shoulders tensing involuntarily.  
  
Because there had been a time, not too long ago, where she'd known just about everything there is to know about Josie Saltzman. It had been both a privilege and an honour, and now it's just another memory to carefully file away.  
  
"She's not my girl anymore," Penelope adds quietly, if only to break the silence, because it feels like she's lost Josie all over again, and if she doesn't keep talking she'll most definitely start crying.  
  
"Really? Huh, could've sworn you were going to marry her." Percy notices his mistake the moment the words leave his mouth, and he scrambles to correct himself. "I mean, I hope you're okay."  
  
"Not in the slightest."  
  
"Anyone I need to beat up?"  
  
"No, I was the one who broke things off. It just … wasn't working out."  
  
If Percy sees through the lie, he doesn't comment on it, which Penelope is infinitely grateful for. He's annoying, and loud, and never knows when to shut his mouth, but she misses him, now that he's away at college, not that she'd ever admit as much out loud.  
  
"Well, don't be a dumbass about it, okay?"  
  
Penelope huffs out a laugh, wiping at her eyes. "Sure, I won't be a dumbass about it."  
  
"Good, don't forget to mail my stuff tomorrow."  
  
"Don't forget my fifteen dollars."  
  
"Ugh, fine. You're the worst."  
  
"At least I'm getting paid for it."  
  
Percy hangs up without replying, then texts her a screenshot of the bank transfer two minutes later.  
  
Penelope smiles at the selfie that comes along with it, one of him flipping her off, then closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.  
  
She knows, without a doubt, that this is a hurt that will never really go away, and she'll carry this ache with her forever, but the knowledge that Josie will now have the chance to find someone who can love her right is worth all the pain in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, kids! So here's the deal, Sid and I are going all in on this collaborating thing and we're going to write this fic together. I'll take Penelope's chapters and she'll take Josie's and maybe we'll help them back together again by the end of it all. We don't have an update schedule because life is chaotic but we can promise that new chapters will exist at some point in the future.
> 
> (yes, hello, sid here🤝  
> hope you enjoy and stay tuned because maybe we can’t promise a Good time, but we can promise A time😌 so buckle up!!)
> 
> Between all of that, you can find me on Tumblr [@softpluto](http://taylorswift.co.vu/) and on Twitter at [@scorpiowaltz](http://twitter.com/scorpiowaltz), and you can find Sid on her Twitter [@sataninacape](https://twitter.com/sataninacape)!
> 
> Until next time, catch ya' on the flipside!


	2. river

* * *

On the last day of third grade, Josie Saltzman breaks her pinky.

 

She isn’t entirely sure how it happens. All Josie remembers is green eyes and a simple request and her fist to Penelope Park’s face and-

 

“Ow!”

 

Josie can feel her finger throbbing, the tissues swelling already.

 

“Hey, look! Ith worked!”

 

She looks up at her sister’s best friend.

 

Penelope is clutching a bloodied tooth in her hand, flashing her a cheeky smile, newly-formed gap and all.

 

Josie’s pinky twitches and her eyes are hazy with unshed tears and her head is light and she really just wants to cry. And, frankly, it’s entirely Penelope Park’s fault.

 

For asking Josie to knock her kind-of-already-loose-but-not-actually tooth out, for wanting to one-up Lizzie, for asking Josie to compromise her moral code of conduct.

 

Josie thinks she should hate Penelope, maybe. Just a little.

 

If not for the broken finger, then at least for transferring schools in the middle of the school year and immediately garnering half of her twin sister’s time and attention. For so effortlessly dazzling her classmates and becoming a permanent fixture at their exclusive lunch table. For- really, Josie could list about seventy-two different reasons why she should despise Penelope Park.

 

Except, the thing is, Josie doesn’t really hate her. Josie isn’t quite sure how to hate someone whose eyes shine like something from outer space, whose curls bounces like slinkies down a staircase.

 

Josie’s doesn’t know how to hate a girl who always saves her a seat on the swings, always compliments her mismatched socks, always splits her afternoon snacks.

 

So maybe Josie doesn’t exactly hate Penelope. But that doesn’t mean she has to like her either.

 

Josie simply tolerates her.

 

For Lizzie’s sake.

 

Penelope blinks. “Thankth Jothie!”

 

“You’re welcome,” Josie sighs, a little breathless courtesy the adrenaline. She pockets her hands, scuffs the toe of her sneaker. “Don’t tell Lizzie that I helped you, okay?”

 

The other girl bobs her head up and down, grins even wider. “Sure, Jo. But I can’t wait to thow your thither! Litthie’s going to be tho mad that I’m winning again.”

 

Josie doesn’t bother attempting to decipher her lispy words. She just rolls her eyes, bites back a giggle.

 

“Theriourthly, Jo. Thank you. I promith I’ll even thplit the money from the Tooth Fairy with you.”

 

Penelope’s eyes are surveying the playground from their secluded corner of the courtyard but Josie doesn’t need to look her in the eye to know that she’s being sincere.

 

Josie shrugs. “Keep it.” A pause. “Getting to finally punch you in the face was payment enough.”

 

It’s barely a whisper and entirely free of malice, but Penelope looks caught off guard nevertheless. Her cheeks twitch, eyebrows dance.

 

Penelope parts her lips to say something. Josie finds herself holding her breath, gravitating forward to listen.

 

But then Lizzie’s voice rings out from their right and Penelope’s head turns and her words are lost in the June breeze.

 

“Thankth again, JoJo,” Penelope calls hastily, scurrying off to greet the blonde. “Hey, Litthie! Gueth what!”

 

Penelope is waving her tooth around in the air and it doesn’t take much for Lizzie to _gueth what_. The blonde-haired girl scrunches her nose, makes a remark, and crosses her arms. Penelope cackles in response.

 

Josie watches their exchange from afar, clutching her broken pinky.

 

Penelope’s hazel gaze intercepts her own and Josie looks away immediately.

 

She wonders exactly how long she’s going to have to continue tolerating this girl and her gappy grin, her galaxy eyes.

 

She wonders exactly how long Penelope Park plans to stick around.

 

* * *

 

Two days later, Lizzie comes home fuming after a playdate with Penelope, and Josie thinks the answer is _not very long after all_.

 

“What hap-?”

 

“Is Penelope the reason you broke your finger?”

 

Lizzie’s blue eyes are thundering and Josie shrinks a little.

 

Josie opens her mouth to respond. She shuts her mouth when she realizes the answer on her lips is _No_.

 

Josie reels because she’s never once felt compelled to lie to her sister, not a single day in her eight years of existence. But somehow, someway, Penelope Park is shifting her moral compass by the day.

 

“Maybe?”

 

Lizzie squeezes her fists into balls, turns towards the door.

 

Josie frowns. “Are you mad at me?”

 

Her sister pauses. “At _you_? Of course not. Why would I be mad at you, Jo?”

 

She parts her lips to reply, but Lizzie continues.

 

“I’m just angry at _Penelope Park_ because she’s a traitor for breaking our contract. I can’t be friends with liars.”

 

Josie tilts her head. “Contract? What contract?”

 

Lizzie mumbles something, slips out of the room, and comes back with a crumpled piece of paper. It’s written in red crayon and bubbly letters. Josie spies Penelope’s loopy name printed on the bottom of the paper, right next to Lizzie’s.

 

“Rule Number One,” Lizzie reads out loud. “I will never hurt Josie Saltzman. Ever. Or Lizzie is allowed to give me the Chinese burn and tell everybody that I still sleep with a nightlight on.”

 

Josie giggles. “Penelope still sleeps with a nightlight?”

 

Lizzie frowns. “Don’t you get it, Josie? She broke her promise. Penelope hurt you, so now we can’t be friends anymore.”

 

“Lizzie.” Josie shakes her head. “Penelope didn’t hurt me on purpose. _I’m_ the one who punched _her_ in the face.”

 

Her sister gaps. “You did _what_?”

 

And just like that, the tables are turned.

 

“You _punched_ someone in the _face_? I’m telling Dad!”

 

Lizzie bolts off and Josie gasps, runs after her.

 

“No, wait!”

 

They stumble around the house, weave between furniture, through doors. Lizzie’s blonde hair flies every which way and Josie almost knocks over a lamp, runs into a bookcase.

 

The brunette finally manages to catch up to her sister when Lizzie barrels into a couch, flops onto her back.

 

“I can’t believe-” Lizzie laughs. “I can’t believe you broke your pinky because you _punched_ my best friend in the face.”

 

Josie huffs, joins Lizzie on the couch. “Please don’t tell Mom and Dad.” A pause. Lizzie’s words echo in her head. “So, Penelope’s still your best friend then?”

 

Lizzie sits upright, looks Josie in the eyes. “Only if you’re okay with it.”

 

She considers this. She considers Penelope’s kind eyes and her gentle smile.

 

 _I think I’m more than okay with it._ But Josie doesn’t know how to say this out loud.

 

Instead, she averts her eyes and shrugs her shoulders. “Sure.”

 

Her sister grins. “Good.”

 

“Great.”

 

And then their Dad’s voice rings from the kitchen and Lizzie’s eyes light with mischief and-

 

“Daddy! Guess what Josie did!”

 

* * *

 

Nine years later, Josie Saltzman thinks she’d give anything for a time machine to go back to that day on the couch and tell Lizzie, _No_.

 

_No, you can’t be friends with Penelope Park._

 

_Because, over the next few years, I’m going to fall in love with your best friend._

 

_Because, one day seven years from now, Penelope Park is going to be my first kiss._

_And it’s going to be clumsy and breathless and embarrassing because you’re going to be right there, three feet away, cursing whatever idiot thought playing Spin the Bottle at a high school party was original._

_And you’ll pretend you don’t notice the way your best friend and your sister kiss a little longer than they need to. You’ll pretend you don’t notice the way our eyes linger on each other the rest of the night, the rest of the year._

_And you’ll give us time to realize our feelings on our own terms. You’ll act surprised when I tell you that I have a crush, have had a crush, on Penelope Park. You’ll tease me for it when she’s not looking._

_You’ll tease her for it when I’m not looking._

 

_Then, one day eight years from now, Penelope Park is going to be my first girlfriend._

_And you’re going to be a little salty about it at first, a little annoyed that you have to deal with our hand-holding and our matching Instagram bios and our incessant banter. That you have to be the third wheel now._

_But then you’ll realize that nothing has really changed. That you and Penelope still grab lunch without me sometimes. That you’re still my number one speed dial._

_That you and Penelope are still best friend. That you and I are still sisters._

_That you don’t have to pick sides, because we’re all on the same side._

 

_And then, one day nine years from now, Penelope Park is going to be my first heartbreak._

_And none of the other firsts are going to matter._

_And the worst part is: it’s going to feel like we’re not on the same side anymore._

_And I don’t want you to have to choose between your sister and your best friend._

 

_So maybe it would have been best if I told you to chose back in the third grade, back when it wouldn’t have hurt you so much._

_Back when it wouldn’t have hurt me so much._

 

Lizzie swings the door open.

 

“Josie? What’s wrong?”

 

Josie doesn’t know how to answer her sister’s question, doesn’t know where to begin.

 

She doesn’t trust herself to say the words _Penelope broke up with me_ without bursting out in tears again.

 

So she settles for, “Do you remember that Friendship Contract that you and Penelope signed when we were in third grade?”

Lizzie grins. “The one that says I can give Penelope a Chinese burn if-”

 

“Yeah,” Josie’s voice wavers. “She broke the first rule.”

 

“She didn’t name her firstborn after me?”

 

A few stray tears bounce down her face and Josie laughs, brushes them away. “No, that was the third one.”

 

Her sister’s smile falters. “Oh. Did Penelope- Did she hurt you?”

 

Josie doesn’t trust her voice, so she just nods.

 

And then Lizzie’s arms are around her and Josie feels the well inside of her burst and she forgets how to breathe.

 

“I don’t even- She didn’t say wh- She just- And then- Lizzie, I can’t- It can’t just be-”

 

Lizzie strokes her hair, tells her to count to ten. Josie obliges, counts herself down, and pulls back.

 

She feels her eyes pool with tears again. “It’s not fair,” Josie whispers.

 

Her sister nods. “I know.”

 

“It’s just- She promised she wouldn’t hurt me. She _promised_ , Lizzie. And everything was great, we were happy, and then she just- Penelope just-”

 

 _Penelope_.

 

The name feels foreign on her lips. Josie feels like she’s talking about a stranger, not about a girl she’s known her entire life.

 

Because the Penelope Park she knows has never, would never, hurt her. Not deliberately, anyway.

 

Because there’s purpose to everything Penelope has ever done, and Josie can’t help but feel like she’s missing something.

 

She retraces her steps, thinks about the last few weeks, re-hashes their last conversations.

 

Josie blinks. “Lizze, I- [ I think that this is my fault ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vo6rekiGvmM). I mean, I must have done something or said something for her to just-”

 

“Jo,” her sister shakes her head firmly, squeezes Josie’s shoulders. “This is not your fault, okay? Penelope probably- I mean-”

 

Lizzie falters and Josie realizes her sister is just as caught off guard by this as she is.

 

“I don’t know what she was thinking, Josie. And I know Penelope promised that she wouldn’t hurt you, but sometimes- sometimes, people make promises that they can’t keep.”

 

Josie waits for the punchline, the motivation. But Lizzie just stares at her, blue eyes an ocean of worry, and the pep doesn’t come.  

 

“That’s it? That’s supposed to cheer me up?”

 

Josie’s eyes sting and she doesn’t bother pushing back her next round of tears. She watches Lizzie deflate.

 

Her voice is soft. “I’m sorry, Josie. I don’t know what to say.”

 

“Will you talk to her?”

 

Lizzie nods. “Of course.”

 

There’s a pause and they stand there, staring at each other, and Josie is still convinced that this is all a bad dream.

 

Her sister gestures towards the bed, an unspoken question, _Twin Cuddles_?, and Josie nods immediately. She takes refuge under Lizzie’s favorite blanket, curls up with her twin. They lay there for a few minutes, breathing heavy between Josie’s sniffles and loaded silence.

 

“I loved her,” Josie whispers. _I still do._

 

“I know.”

 

“I thought I was going to marry her.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I thought that we would both have to fight over you for maid of honor.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I can’t believe she broke up with me.”

 

“I know.”

 

Josie holds her breath.

 

“I hate her.”

 

Lizzie sighs, squeezes Josie a little tighter. “No, you don’t.”

 

A pause.

 

“I know,” Josie’s voice breaks. “But that would make this so much easier.”

 

And then she’s crying all over again and Lizzie just lets her, tells her it’s going to be okay.

 

And for the first time maybe ever, Josie isn’t sure if she believes her sister.

 

* * *

 

Josie doesn’t know when she fell asleep, but she wakes up a few hours later, sometime around dinner, to Lizzie’s voice echoing from the hallway.

 

“-sixth voice message, Park. Just call me back when you get this, so I kn-”

 

“Lizzie?”

 

The door creaks open. The blonde pockets her phone. “Hey, Jo. You’re up.”

 

She nods, rubs at her eyes. “You won’t believe the nightmare that I just had. So, it started with Penelope-”

 

Josie yawns, stretches and Lizzie’s eyes drop to the floor. She watches her sister shift from one foot to the other and Josie’s heart sinks.

 

“Oh. It was real?”

 

Her sister nods.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

 _No, not really_. 

 

“I’m fine, Lizzie. Can you just give me a minute? Please?”

 

Her sister pauses. She opens her mouth. And then she closes it and turns, shuts the door behind her.

 

Josie lets out a breath, fumbling around for her phone.

 

There’s not a single message from Penelope. Not “I’m sorry,” not “I fucked up.”

 

She’s not surprised, but it still stings.

 

Josie stares blankly at her phone, and a thought occurs to her.

 

She hesitates before sliding to Instagram, clicking on the icon, and tapping to Penelope’s page.

 

It’s stupid. It’s _so_ stupid. But the second Josie sees the empty bio, the lack of initials, the new profile picture, she feels her heart drop to her knees.

 

It’s official. They’re over. Penelope Park is her ex. Yet another first.

 

Josie’s finger hovers over the three dots, and she so desperately wants to press the Block button, but she clicks over to her own profile instead.

 

First, she deletes her bio. Then, she changes her display picture. Finally, she archives their pictures together.

 

And just like that, within a matter of seconds, every trace of Penelope Park is erased from Josie Saltzman’s virtual life.

 

Josie stares at her screen. And then she tosses her phone down, grabs a pillow, and screams.

 

If only the real world came with an “Edit Profile” feature too.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, on the first day of junior year, Josie fractures her pinky again.

 

It’s between third and fourth period. She’s at her locker, staring blankly at the pale blue spaces where polaroid pictures should cling to rusty metal. Josie’s stomach is in knots because this is when Penelope should be greeting her with a kiss, a story about her classes, ask Josie about her day. This is when Lizzie should be groaning about their PDA, when Penelope should be smirking, rolling her eyes, pulling Josie in just a little closer, kissing her just a little deeper.

 

Except Penelope is nowhere to be found and neither is Lizzie and for the first time in her life maybe, Josie Saltzman feels truly lonely. Well, maybe not lonely. Just _alone_.

 

Josie feels alone and confused and hurt and a little angry too because Penelope Park promised her forever and tomorrow and all Josie ended up with is a broken heart and a bunch of yesterdays and-

 

“ _Fuck_ -”

 

“Are you okay?”

 

It’s not Penelope. Or Lizzie even.

 

It’s Milton Greasley from her AP Chem class and they’re not exactly friends, not really, but they’ve gone to school together since the third grade and sometimes smile at each other in the hallway and Josie blinks. She looks down at her finger.

 

The one she just crushed trying to slam her locker shut. It’s pounding and, yes, it hurts, but that’s not why her eyes are welling with tears. That’s not why she looks at M.G. and his bowtie and his bubbly grin and says _No._

 

“I’m not.”

 

He frowns. “Do you want me to walk you to the nurse? I can-”

 

“No,” Josie repeats. “I don’t need a nurse, I just- I need-” _Penelope_.

 

Milton’s eyebrows tug together and something seems to click. “A friend?”

 

Josie sighs. That too, maybe. She could use a friend that isn’t her sister or her girlfriend for a change.

 

“Yeah. A friend.”

 

“Great,” his grin reappears. “Consider me the Robin to your Hood then. The Wonder to your Woman, the Super to your Man, the-”

 

“Oh my god, I didn’t realize _this_ is what I was signing up for-”

 

“ _Hey_ , listen here Josie Saltzman, let me tell you something about super heroes. Every epic comic stars a-”

 

Milton launches into a speech that Josie immediately rolls her eyes at, tunes out of. Not in a rude way, just, Josie doesn’t really care for comic books. But she nods her head anyway, clutches her books to her chest, and walks with M.G. down the hallway, because she does care for this.

 

Whatever _this_ is. The company, the friendship. Because maybe Josie is clutching a broken pinky and nursing a wounded soul, but maybe her world is still spinning.

 

Maybe life goes on.

 

Maybe one chapter ends for another one to begin.

 

And maybe some divine being is looking down at her, writing the girl’s future, or maybe Josie Saltzman is the author of her own destiny. Either way, Josie thinks she’d like to stop feeling like a secondary character in the book of her own life.

 

Josie looks to Milton Greasley, his charismatic energy, his chaotic good, and Josie thinks of all that time she wasted by not befriending him sooner.

 

She wonders what else she missed out on during all those years of living in a bubble with her twin sister and their best friend.

 

And maybe Josie still feels angry and hurt and confused at Penelope for breaking her heart. But maybe, something in her feels just a little grateful too.

 

Not grateful for the broken finger or the broken heart. Grateful for the room to grow.

 

Josie just hopes that, in the end, the final chapter, the last verse, it turns out that, all along, they were growing together. And not apart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! it me :) sid :))  
> hope you enjoyed the flashback and the flash forward and everything in between😎 
> 
> UNTIL NEXT TIME here are our socials! you know, if you wanna keep up w/ or (moderately) cyberstalk your gals!!  
> ace’s Tumblr: @softpluto  
> ace’s Twitter: @scorpiowaltz  
> my twitter: @sataninacape!
> 
> have😎a😎nice😎day😎/night😎


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